Yet Another Dream…

I was dreaming in a pitch black place facing my Dad who was looking away from me. He didn’t seem to be listening so I was screaming trying to get him to look at me, but his eyes were dead. I was screaming at him that I missed him, the old him. The one that I loved when I was a child, because I do miss him. The father that could remember things with me, make remarks.

I wanted to know and perhaps my waking self wants to know why he has to smoke pot to make him forget all the things he said to me that made my heart happy. It’s like dealing with an Alzheimer’s patient sometimes. I say a memory to him and he doesn’t remember it with me.

I was screaming and crying so hard, but he wouldn’t turn to look at me at all.

Why can’t you remember your remarks about how you regret teaching math the way you did when I was a child? You said you should have just made me memorize by rout memorization rather than teaching a base of ten and how you regretted that. Do you have to die in front of my eyes like this?

Being around him is reaching in the dark only to try to grasp that dead looking face.

Can a person die in front of your eyes without them dying? I think they can. I have seen it myself. Only this person chose to do it early.

Posted in Family Politics, Memoirette, Mi-ism | Leave a comment

“Rescuing a Child”

In light of people arguing, “But adoption rescues children!” I’m going to take the number $25,000 which is the average amount for a domestic adoption for one child and break it down into what it could do to you know, actually rescue children AND cauterize the wound while we’re at it.

You can donate 25,000 dollars to Red Cross. You can specify which community it goes to, and also specify what it is donated towards, say children. 25,000 dollars could get toys, blood, shelter and help children find their relatives who may adopt them.

25,000 dollars to the Heifer International organization is a big enough package transform an entire region. Or simply by a little less than 20 goats. This would leave 99 dollars left over, of which you could buy a flock of hope, or a trio of rabbits, leaving 30 dollars left over. You could then buy some honeybees, and you’d still have 9 dollars left over. (How many children did you save?) This would help entire families and communities to get out of poverty–the organization doesn’t only donate the animals, but funds vets and care for those animals. When those animals breed the community benefits.

You can donate that 25,000 dollars to help single mothers in Korea keep their children because the Korean government has not caught up to industrialization in Korea. Considering that minimum wage in Korea is 4.00 an hour and single mothers are shunned, you would have given enough to fund more than one child and give the mother a fighting chance to keep her child. (Though Korean adoptions cost an average of 28,000 dollars).

You can donate 25,000 to organizations that need microloans to women in poverty who have business plans, but not the means to do it. Many of these business plans require only 5,000 dollars, or less, which means, if you invest the full 25,000 dollars, into these women, and specifically choose those that have children, then you could save 5 projects, maybe with 2 children each? So that’s 10 children.

With 25,000 dollars you could donate to places such as Operation Smile where they go around the world and repair things like cleft lips and cleft palates. They provide medical care to children who would be stigmatized by society for a minor birth defect–there are other organizations that also help with repairing birth defects.

Stop kidding yourself, if you wanted to “save a child” You wouldn’t adopt. You would donate and save more children and stop the causes that make the system have children that shouldn’t be in it in the first place rated by the amount of melanin in their skin tone/government they have. You want to adopt–it’s for yourself, it’s not to “save children”. The act of making a family is selfishness–own it, but once you own to that fact, don’t forget, it will not only be about you, but your child and the future that you want to show them. Do you want to show them a world where you don’t try to mend the world for your own gain, or do you want to show them a world where you could spend only 120 dollars to buy one animal from the Heifer foundation and see a woman go to college through that one animal? Do you want to show them that you put effort into helping women keep their children? Or do you want to show them that you think if women are poor and single in a stigmatized country that we should take their children? Do you want to be the person who asks when are the children going to be shipped out of a disaster area, or the person that donates money to help with relief that will help more people than the adoption of that one child. Think through your choices and justifications.

Own the choices you make, don’t make it heroic when it isn’t. And don’t blame Unicef for following the governments of the world in their policies.

Posted in Adoption History, Adoption in General, Adoption Politics, Adoptism | Leave a comment

Adoption Numbers from 2011

http://www.theadoptionguide.com/cost/articles/how-much-does-adoption-cost

We still have the phenomenon that the more melanin in the baby’s skin the cheaper they are. Something to think about.

Posted in Adoption History, Adoption in General, Adoption Politics, Racism | Leave a comment