Archive for the ‘General Adoption’ Category

Where I used to Live

10 Jul

The things about Adoption is that your life becomes a jigsaw puzzle, and you have to forget things to survive. Once you are faced with the memory, you have a choice to either reject it or let it become a part of you, but it can’t become a part of you in the same way, because Who you are in the here and now has severely diverged from who you were then. It’s not the echoes of ghosts you are chasing, but it’s really the echoes of your own laughter, and joy and the constant question, “Do you want to accept this into you as you are now?”

What’s the difference between an adoptee and someone who is not? It’s the quality of remembering. It’s the luxury of having someone there to re-enforce your memories and tell you, “You aren’t wrong.” Someone with a history and same gumption that you also have to remember a singular event, like yo being born. But as an adoptee, to survive, I had to shed those memories, this family and ultimately this place.

Facing it as an adult is like trying to remember what I can’t remember. And I can only get feelings and try to see it from my POV as I once was.

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Posted in General Adoption, Search and Korea Trip

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