Friendship and Moving Out

19 Feb

I admit I wasn’t exactly sane after breaking up with my ex-boyfriend. Finding that my parents were smoking pot and telling me the schedule of it didn’t really help my logic centers to come back that quickly. For this reason I kept my friendship with my ex because on a conscious level I didn’t see any reason not to. On a subconscious level, I hated his guts and when he tried to wake me up after I had to wait for hours of him being in the bathroom, I’d kick him in my sleep even when he was standing up. I guess my subconscious self really hated his guts and wanted revenge. (or at least what I’d like to think.)

So I was having fun apartment hunting and found a place to move to. I managed to move out of the apartment with the asiophile. By this time I was really fed up with my ex too. He was asking me to burn DVDs of a TV show he watched and insisted that we watch it together. Back then it would take the majority of the day for the computer to burn the video DVD. I spent days collecting pictures and making menus. And then he’d demand that I do it faster because if I didn’t give him 6 copies (which in a weekly show is expensive) he’d look bad at work. He didn’t understand why this made me so pissed at him. And then he’d expect me to pay for food half the time or make it, but wouldn’t buy it back. When it was his turn to buy food it was always cheap. (Well, most of the time)

Keeping this in mind, when I was apartment hunting he offered to help drive me (since I had no car) even though I said I could take the bus. I ended up taking the place, even though I wanted to do more apartment hunting. I, now, know that I won’t take a place immediately without a little more hunting around.

When I first moved in and I got a parking space for my Aunt and cousins and my ex… my ex started offering the parking space to strangers I didn’t know. I was pissed because he was acting like he owned my place, my Internet and the apartment when he didn’t even live in the apartment. People assumed that I did. I stated it to him that it bugged me and asked him to please offering things that didn’t belong to him. He didn’t listen to me. He instead stated all the things I did wrong. This made me even more upset at him.

His favorite phrase now was, “You don’t have any other friends.” I stated I did and he said “Real ones.” This made me even more mad at him. I had my cousins and my aunt and uncle not to mention friends in my college classes and I had friends through the Internet.

There were redeeming qualities about him. He liked to have fun, even if at my monetary expense. Escapism was a major theme. I liked having fun, but after a while it became less and less fun as he held his air conditioner and driving over me as the reasons I needed to see him. (Needed is used correctly here.) But over time trying to have fun was more of a game of control for him than it was having fun. And it was scarier as I realized all the faults of my parents were in him.

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Posted in Becoming an Adult, Racism


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