October | 2010 | A portrait of one Korean Adoptee–Kim Yunmi Dot Com

Archive for October, 2010

What a Smackdown looks like…

Background on the Smackdown:

I tried about 4 different techniques before going to this point. If this family member doesn’t get it, I get to set up a permanent boundary. I have zero tolerance for people who simply refuse to learn after I try to teach them. Ignorance is one thing, naivété after you smack them is another.


Up to this point I have tried hard to be diplomatic with you, but I see that I no longer can afford to do so. I feel directly offended by your behavior and inability to realize what I am trying to communicate with you.

I do not like dealing with people who see my what’s before my who’s. You are turning out to be one of those people. You are taking exception to my race, adoption status, and ethnicity before wanting to know who I am, what interests me. I find your behavior prejudicial. When I address the fact I am not interested in those things, you continue on, and I find this behavior intolerable.

For every person that has stated they are color blind to me, they have used this as an excuse for racist behavior and not apologize for it. You are proving this also true.

I feel deeply offended that all you seem to be hung up on is my birth nationality and what you define as adoption and what you define as Korea. This, to me, is unacceptable.

I am many things beyond Korean and adopted, for example, part of your family, if you like it or not, Jewish, if you like it or not and many other things, but for some reason you don’t seem to be able to handle this fact. There are many ways to define a family, and if you cannot handle that, I rather spend time with people who can.

Maybe you should look upon yourself on why you ONLY send things about Korea or adoption. Because, sincerely, I have no answer for you on why you continue this behavior and I am not a person you may project these insecurities on. I will not tolerate it.

If you cannot relate to me as a human being, then why contact me at all? If you refuse an apology and won’t get past Korea or my adoption status, I will refuse further contact. I have better things to do and people who do understand that a human being is made up of more than where they were born or if they were adopted or not. I rather spend time with them.

Please consider this before you think of writing again. And I hope you think hard.